The day I had my period for the very first time, I finally understood why the older females at home liked to call it “buwanang dalaw” or “monthly visit.” Like some visitors, it came unannounced to the point that it was already annoying.
But here’s the thing: Even though I knew it was going to come anytime, its arrival still shocked me.
In fact, I even had to question myself, whether it was really menstrual blood or it was caused by something else. A wound, perhaps? Or a manifestation of some kind of sickness? I even had to ask my mother to verify. And that was it, she confirmed that it was, in fact, period blood.
And then, my mother told me, “Dalaga ka na!”
Unlike other girls at my age, I was not asked to perform rituals like skipping three steps on the staircase. Nor was I asked to smear some period blood on my face, something that older people had to go through in order to, according to some period superstitions, avoid having pimple breakouts while they were menstruating.
But of course, I knew all of these things.
I was not able to evade the inevitable sex education and how my menstruation was changing my body forever, and how I should be careful from then on for I could already get pregnant for having unprotected sex.
One of the very first struggles I had as a menstruating individual was using a sanitary pad for the very first time.
Although my mother enthusiastically gave me a lecture on menstruation, she did not bother to teach me how to use a sanitary pad. Maybe she just assumed that since I had been seeing some at home growing up, I already knew how it worked. I still didn’t.
In fact, the so-called wings intrigued me that I almost wasted a single pad trying to figure out how I should stick it to my underwear.
Good thing, I still managed to do it properly. But of course, I still had a hard time in the duration of my period.
The idea of having something sticky and wet in between my legs was not comforting at all. It made me so paranoid, as though a sea of blood would drown everyone around me each time I moved.
Back then, I’d still hate myself for making a big deal out of the discomfort I had to deal with while menstruating. However, upon experiencing a couple of period-related mishaps, I realized that I was not being illogical at all.
All those worries and fears surrounding my menstruation made sense, after all!
Each time I tried washing away traces of period blood from my clothes, my uneasiness intensified. Every moment I tried to hide maps of blood on the skirt of pants I was wearing, I felt as though I were cursed and that I’d have to bear the shame of it all my life.
It was only in college that I learned to fully accept that there was nothing wrong with menstruation. After taking up a subject on gender and sexuality, I became comfortable with my body as well as the things it did. Among those things, of course, was my period.
It was liberating. I stopped feeling apologetic each time I had to march to the comfort room carrying a pack of sanitary pads, as though it were contraband that should be hidden.
I also began talking about it with my friends who also had a lot of enlightening stories to share about their experiences as women and as menstruating individuals.
Eventually, those interactions opened my eyes to how else I could improve my experience in relation to periods. I learned more about tampons, which I had only heard a few things about when I was a child.
I also found out how, despite being more liberating compared to sanitary pads, difficult it was to find them in the city I was living in and how expensive they were.
Good thing, I learned about a more sustainable product—the menstrual cup. I read a lot about it, as well as its benefits.
Unfortunately, though, it wasn’t readily available in the Philippines back then. Some shops carried imported menstrual cup brands, but of course, they were expensive.
Shortly after that, I learned that a friend was starting her own menstrual cup brand. She had always been passionate about travel and sustainability and now she wanted to bring menstrual cups to the Philippines. She thought there was a need for it and I couldn’t agree more.
That was when I started getting involved with Sinaya Cup.
Of course, one of the things I had to do upon joining the team was to try using the product. I was excited. But of course, like many menstrual cup users, I also encountered some challenges at first.
I had to learn how to use a menstrual cup. I also familiarized myself with proper menstrual cup maintenance, so I could maximize its life span. Once I got the hang of using it and mastered how to take care of it, my period started feeling like a breeze. Now all I had to worry about were my period pains.
It has already been three years since I first used a menstrual cup, and things have really been great for me.
I no longer get paranoid during my period; the idea of leaving a stain on my pants and on the surfaces I am sitting on doesn’t scare me anymore, simply because I know my cup won’t fail me.
I also have the courage to do things, including traveling to far-flung places and taking part in physical activities, even while I am on my period.
My menstrual cup has been empowering.
As I enjoy these privileges, I also try to reflect on my experiences involving menstruation.
One of the things I can’t stop thinking of is what I had to go through before getting to this point. I had to battle with my own prejudices and overcome my own misconceptions about my own body and periods.
I had to break barriers; I was forced to endure the unapproving stares of people as I unapologetically talked about my body and dealt with my menstruation without showing any bit of shame. Things were not easy.
But I guess what’s more important is where I am now, and what I have become.
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